To The One Who Didn’t Get Away

I hesitate to write this post. My purpose is to show that good men are out there. Many times I hear women talking negatively about their husbands, how they are lazy, useless, or negative influences in the home. My husband is not perfect on any measures (though if you ask him he is “pure of heart”), and we don’t have the perfect marriage, but I can admit, I have a pretty good guy. I imagine many of you do, too.

Here is to the one who didn’t get away. To the one who brings me flowers (and my favorite adult beverage) when I start my day at the vet with sick dogs and have to bury a farm kitten before going into 6 client sessions. To the one who didn’t laugh at me for needing him because we lost a kitten who I had only had for a week, or mock me for being stressed about a sick dog that both went to the vet “just in case.” He simply loved me.

Here is to the one who smirks when I add one more thing to my already busy schedule, only to be there to load my truck with everything needed for my next party, or client, or event. He knows what to load for each not because I have told him, but because he pays attention.

Here is to the one who loves me on days that I am working through another wave of emotional healing and am filled with anger towards no one in particular. I have cursed at him, yelled at him, and told him I don’t want him anywhere near me. He says nothing, but will pick up a Mexican Cola for me on his way home from work the next day.

Here is to the one who makes plans for San Antonio trips with a backstage look at the Penguins. He doesn’t care about penguins, he cares about me. To the one who does laundry on weekends because I am running around with one of my many businesses. The one who cleans the kitchen and makes dinner plans. To the one who mows our lawn and gets estimates for gutters, even though he doesn’t think we need them.

Here is to the one who will make an 18 hr round trip in one day to pick up a Golden Retriever. The one who supports me in running halfway across Texas to rescue a mule. The one who meets me for lunch when I have a cancellation. The one who says “whatever you want babe” when I ask about ordering books, or shoes, or whatever I feel I need.

Here is to the ones who goes to work every day at a job they may not love because they love their family. To the ones who stay home and watch sick kids, so their wives can work that day instead. To the ones who drive a worn out vehicle, so we can drive the safer one. To those who tell us when we are wrong and hold us accountable.

Here is to the ones who set healthy boundaries for us, when we can’t seem to say “no” ourselves. To the ones who are at ball games and parties. To the ones who quietly do what a Husband is to do in leading his family. The ones who don’t get much recognition in social circles as everyone else is complaining.

Here is to the good guys, the ones that didn’t get away.

When God Goes Before Us Into Battle

soldiers going to battle

Once more the Philistines raided the valley; so David inquired of God again, and God answered him, “Do not go directly after them, but circle around them and attack them in front of the poplar trees. As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the poplar trees, move out to battle, because that will mean God has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army.” So David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army, all the way from Gibeon to Gezer  ~1Chronicles 14:13-16, NIV

Picture it. David’s army is geared up and going out to battle. They reach the poplar trees as instructed.  All of a sudden David and his army hear a large army marching toward them from behind. They swing around, expecting an ambush and see nothing, yet the sound gets louder and louder. They then realize it is passing over them. They hear the loud marching in the treetops way above their heads. Then the sounds begin to fade and they snap out of it. They realize that just as he promised, God sent his army ahead of them to fight for them. They follow quickly.

I don’t know about you, but at times when I have needed to fight a significant battle in life is when I have felt the least qualified and able to do so. I wanted God to go fight that battle for me. In fact, I have gotten a little irritated because I was responsible for fighting the battle. It was mine alone. And I didn’t know how I could possibly do so and why God would not simply take care of it.

But read again the astonishing story above about the battle that David and his army needed to fight against the Philistines. God was going to help them in the battle, however, he was not willing to let David and his army sit in their tents while His own army fought the enemy. God knew that his army was going to go before David and fight, however, David and his army had to still gear up, get on their armor, and march out to battle.

It doesn’t take long wondering to come up with at least a few good reasons why God does not go out to fight our battles for us while we sit on the couch watching TV:

  1. One of the quickest ways to make a person weak is to do for them what they are capable of doing themselves. In years past, I have worked in geriatrics. One of the best things a nurse can do for an older patient is gently, firmly encourage the patient to do what they are capable of, then just a little more. Even though the patient may think the nurse heartless, this helps him/her maintain and gain strength.
  2. We humans get a sense of entitlement very easily.  What originally we are very thankful for soon becomes accepted as the norm and then it is a short trip to feeling that we deserve it.
  3. For someone to do for us what we are capable of doing ourselves steals the sense of accomplishment we get from completing a difficult task. If we do not attempt something, how will we ever know whether or not we could accomplish it?

Does knowing the above make me like putting on my armor and marching out to fight whatever the next battle is before me? Many times, no. But I do it anyway. Stormie Omartian has written an excellent book titled, Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On. That is an apt description of how it feels when I’m gearing up one more time for battle. Many times I do not know the outcome or the way, but God provides for me just enough light to illuminate the step I am on. Then, when it is time for me to take the next step, God helps and God leads, but he will not take the next step for me. God in his mercy knows how to grow his people. {Click to tweet!}


Our Future Bible Study Plans: Verse by Verse

time with God

You’ve probably noticed that since I took a full-time teaching job in January things here have slowed down. And they have. I’ve spent the last 6 months getting my feet under me and figuring out what life looks like being a wife and mother while also working full time. As many of you know, it’s not for the feint of heart! You simply can’t do it all. And I don’t. I have my own little “cheats” to help take the burden of doing everything off my shoulders.

So what does this change mean for OverACup? Don’t worry we’re not going anywhere. But this change in my season of life has given me insight into many of your lives that I didn’t have before. One thing I have quickly learned is that week-to-week studies, especially long ones (ie. Search for Significance…Did anyone finish it? I still have a giveaway hanging out there if you did!) though very good, aren’t very doable for many of us. It simply isn’t the season of life we’re in right now.

However, the more I study about “Living in Relationship with God” (future study coming!) the more I see how very important it is for us to connect with God regularly. We are the heart of our families and where we go our families follow. However, we cannot live out the life God intends for us without knowing and connecting with him. This doesn’t mean we need to spend 30 minutes to 1 hour every day. That would be nice, but you can still grow in your relationship with God in 5-15 minutes a day, too.

My heart is to encourge you to spend time with God and grow in relationship with him by spending time regularly with him. My quiet time is in the morning before my kids get up. It’s just 15 min most days while seated at my kitchen table or out on my porch swing, but when I miss those few minutes, my family notices. And in those few minutes each morning, I grow and am changed.

I wish the same for you, too. This past week we’ve begun something new in our OverACup Facebook group. Instead of doing a full out study, we’re going to meet each week over just one verse. Just one. I’ll post the verse over the weekend, and then as we have time throughout the week, we can all share what thoughts God spoke to us during our quiet time and how it impacted our lives that week. This way if you’re doing another study but still want the accountability and encouragement our OverACup group gives, you can have it. Also, if you fall off the wagon for several weeks (or months), then you won’t be lost when you come back. You can just pick right up where we are.

Each week you can take the verse and journal over it, post it around your home or car where you can see it, spend time in prayer over it…Whatever is your best way to learn and meditate on God’s Word, do that! By memorizing and focusing on these verses we’ll be reminding ourselves of the inheritance we have in Christ and will be equipping the Spirit inside us with God’s Word to fight off the Devil’s darts when they come our way (Eph. 6: 14-18).

We would love to have you join us for this ongoing one verse per week study. No extra emails. All you need to do is request to join our OverACup closed Facebook group. Then just look for the verse I will post each week.

Thank you so much for being a part of our OverACup community. I hope this change in our study helps you connect with God and deepen your relationship with him. I’m praying for you all!

Grace and Peace,


God’s Story ~ Kristin Weis with The Demand Project

Jason and Kristin Weis


Last Fall I sat down with Kristin Weis, one of the founders of The Demand Project. She explained that The Demand Project is an organization located in Tulsa, OK, whose mission is, “Fighting to eradicate sex trafficking and the sexual exploitation of children.” They do this through four areas: Prevention, Prosecution, Rescue, and Restoration.

As we talked, she shared her and her husband, Jason’s, God Story of how The Demand Project began. Their story is an amazing journey of God’s provision. Join me this month for Part 1 of their story about how God first prepared and called them to this work…

Tara Cole: Were there ways you saw God preparing you for this ministry beforehand?

Kristin Weis: I did! In the church we were going to, we got involved with Whiz Kids. We were tutors. We also started to work at the Children’s Hospital, and even if we would go in and hold babies all day, we would do that.

Then we did another mission through the church. It was called Lifeboat 14. Lifeboat 14 is named because that is the only lifeboat that came back for the Titanic victims. We had an apartment complex where our church would bring the ministry to the apartment complex.  We rented it out through the church, and we would bring the kiddos in and do Bible studies with them, teach them how to cook, play games, and pick up trash in the neighborhood.

We were trying to change the lives of the people just in that community. I think that’s where our strong sense of changing our own community versus going out and telling the whole world how to live while we’re dying right here came from. I think that’s probably where that was birthed. So in working with kids, we knew that we would do something in this, and Jason and I did all this together.

One thing that is awesome about Jason and I is you don’t always find that spouse who has the other half of your mission. The other half of your calling. It’s interesting how The Demand Project is built because we have the Prevention, Prosecution, Rescue, and Restoration.

We both do the assemblies and the prevention, but then he takes over the prosecution with legislation, the cyber investigation, and the law enforcement. Then I come in with the rescue and restoration part of it. So we’ve broken the organization out to be two-fold. It’s four titles to it, but he’s got a whole half and I’ve got a whole half, and we meet in the middle and do it together. So it’s pretty amazing how God did prepare this.

Tara: I saw where you all had heard the news report in 2004 of a little girl who was abused, and then you picked up your family and moved from Colorado to Oklahoma. Why did you all choose Oklahoma?

Kristin: I know. What a strange place to go to a training ground?

Tara: Yes!

Kristin: When we saw that story, and we believe she was two, and we heard everything that happened, we heard about the thousands of people who watched [the abuse] online. We’re fighters so that just boiled our blood and made us so angry. We didn’t know where to turn, we had no idea what to do, but we knew we needed to do something.

So I was going to see a prayer minister, and I told her that we wanted to figure all this out. She was praying for me, and she could see that there was a lot more to the calling on our lives than what we knew. Her strong, strong suggestion and I say it nice like that, but it really wasn’t a suggestion, it was God saying, “This is what you’re going to do.” She said, “You need to go to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Go to Victory Bible Institute (VBI), and you need to go and get trained up for what you’re about to do because the very thing you’re fighting can destroy you if you’re not careful.” I didn’t really know what she meant at the time because I’m thinking, “Nothing is really going to destroy us that we’re fighting.” But you don’t know how perverted it is and how emotional the fight gets.

Even just driving in today, I was having one of those mornings. I hadn’t even put on my eye makeup yet because I was having one of those mornings. Jason is overwhelmed with cases with predators, and the case doesn’t just start and end after he gets them. Then you’ve got to do all this stuff in the meantime while we’re trying to do all these events, and I’m trying to work with my rescued girls, and it’s just getting to be overwhelming.

And I don’t know why, but I passed by a house in Jenks. I had a really horrible feeling, and I imagined almost the story we had seen [on the news], and it just crushed me. All the way to work I was feeling that empathy for a child starting their day out being raped. You know most of us start our day out by eating breakfast, getting our clothes on our back, putting on our shoes, maybe we’re yelling at the kids to get in the car, “We gotta go!”  But the trauma these kids have to go through every day.

So when she said that I don’t think we quite understood the depth of it.

But then we got to VBI. It was a miracle how it happened. It was right when the housing was plummeting. No houses were selling around that time. We were in a cul-de-sac in a nice neighborhood in Castle Rock, CO, and when we put our house up for sale. Well, let me back up…

When she tells us we need to move to Tulsa, Jason says, “Absolutely, no way, are we moving from Colorado to Oklahoma!”

Tara: Right, it’s the opposite!

Kristin: (laughter) Yeah, totally opposite. My family was in Colorado. My mom had Sjogren’s disease, so she was dying, and we had the only grandchildren in Colorado. So this was not going to go over well.

When she said to go and Jason said, “No.” It took one year from the time she told us to go and for every door to shut on Jason to get him to the breaking point of understanding we needed to go. But in the meantime, we started to do off campus classes through VBI, and it just wasn’t enough. It was awesome to learn the power of the Lord. We were going to church. Jason had never been to church before he met me. So we knew God, but we didn’t have the revelation of the relationship with Jesus.

Tara: I understand.

Kristin: You get that. Very different. So we started to get the revelation as we were with the prayer minister. We started to change churches and go more charismatic and more Holy Spirit led.

After that year, I went back to the prayer minister, and she said, “This is the time for you to go. You need to go home and tell Jason he is to quit his job. You’re going to bear the burden of all the money until you leave. Get all your affairs in order, and you need to go.” I said, “Okay, let’s just stop this right now. That is plenty for me to do. Because now I’ve got to go home and tell him.”

So I go home and sit him down, and I say, “Here’s the deal. The kids can go to school at Victory…” He broke emotionally, and he said, “Let’s go!” So that was that moment where we put the house up for sale. Like I said, no houses were selling, ours sold within a few weeks. From the time we figured out we were going to go, it was six weeks. We had told the family. They thought we were going to ruin the kids. My mom could not believe I was leaving her. We got the house up, came to Tulsa, found a house, enrolled the kids, enrolled ourselves, and we’re here within six weeks. It was huge, and we had been in Colorado for quite some time.

So we ended up going to VBI and trying to dive into what was this trafficking thing is, and that’s where our path began.



If you’d like to learn more about trafficking today and how you can help, please visit their website: There you will find out more information about trafficking in the US and Oklahoma, and ways you can give and help.


*Photo Credit:

When Intentions Turn to Regret



Today, I attended the celebration of life of a woman who left this world too soon. I never got by to tell her “bye.” I didn’t take the opportunity, even once I knew she was in hospice, to stop in. I felt I would be a nuisance. I thought she would have plenty of people around and it would be awkward for someone who thought themselves to be a stranger to see them in that state. I made many excuses, but I didn’t go. And now it’s too late. I told her husband, an old rancher I would stop in at the farm someday. I know what someday means for me. It’s not that I intend to not do these things, I have every intention. Then, it’s too late.

I intend many things. I intend to learn a language, I intend to study more, I intend to get up early, I intend to run each morning, I intend to keep up with family, I even intend to write this post which has been running through my head since I found out my acquaintance passed away. I intend, but then I don’t do.

I get caught up in the business of life, in the hustle of reaching my goals and finding my way. I don’t intend to leave relationships behind. But I do. I feel the guilt of what I don’t do, but I don’t make a change. I don’t intend to stay on the same path. But I do.

 I know that in me, that is, in my fallen human nature, there is nothing good. I can will myself to do something good, but that does not help me carry it out. I can determine that I am going to do good, but I don’t do it; instead, I end up living out the evil that I decided not to do. Romans 7:18-19 (The Voice)

Here we see Paul having the same struggle. It is comforting to know I am not the first one and likely not the last to deal with this.

As you go through your week, share your struggles with us in the OAC community here or on Facebook. Let’s pray for one another to become more of what we need to be and have busyness take less of a hold in our lives.

Let’s  Pray:

“Father I ask peace for those of us who struggle with priorities and get caught in the hustle and bustle of life. I ask you give us direction and help us focus on what is important this week. In Jesus name.”




The Many Faces of Evangelism

Soul winner preparing the soil

I have gardened and landscaped for a long time now. Living with an unstable man for many years, we moved often. This gave me the opportunity to hone my gardening skills, as each place we moved to was another blank canvas for me to practice gardening and landscaping on.

An important lesson I learned by the sweat of my brow is that there is a part of gardening called soil preparation that is time-consuming and hard work that looks nothing like the job of seed planting or harvest. I also learned the hard way that if I did not take the time to prepare the soil properly, then I was simply wasting my time in planting – there would be no harvest, which for me meant no flowers, because I major in annuals, perennials, and bulbs with a tuber or rhizome thrown in for good measure.

So today I just completed serious repair work on a garden in a day and a half with the help of my dear husband that just ten years ago would have taken me half that time by myself. And I needed a lot more breaks!

These days when putting in a new garden or flower bed, I use the lasagna gardening method. In a nutshell, a lasagna garden is created in layers: Identify where the new garden needs to go, do not shudder because there is a healthy crop of Bermuda grass growing there, mark out your garden area and beginning with a layer of cardboard, cover the potential garden spot. Now after this, the official lasagna garden books and people have specific formulas that make for the best gardens. I diverge and bit and use some of what I have on hand, like leaves from our two large maples, some top soil, a good compost, and sometimes some peat moss. The idea is to layer, one at a time, these ingredients for your garden. Do not bother with stirring them together, simply make your layers, then plant.

A year or two ago when I originally put in the garden in question, I did not have all the cardboard needed for the bottom layer, so I substituted plastic leaf bags. Don’t do this. It is a bad idea. Whereas the cardboard breaks down and allows plant roots through, plastic does not. My tall plants had too shallow of roots and toppled over.

Now we come to this weekend. My job was to dig up and cautiously save the plants I wanted to keep, then identify and pull the plastic out from under the layers of soil, replace with cardboard, then add more layers of soil. My old body which has mostly sat doing schoolwork for the last six years or so was in shock, asking me what in the world did I think I was doing?! So I took up my fence, then rested. I pulled the plastic out of the garden, then rested. I put the layer of leaves down (do you know how heavy those bags can get from autumn to spring, being snowed and rained on?). Then I rested. At this point, my husband came to check on my progress, had mercy on me, and hoisted the bags of compost, then top soil to the proper garden spots. I opened the bags, dumped them out, and spread the layers. And so it continued through to the finish. Whew!

It took me, with my husband’s help, a day and a third to prepare the soil and less than an hour to plant the seeds and water them in.

Why do I tell you all of this? Because it is like the apostle Paul mentions in I Corinthians 3:7, 8:

“So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.”

Paul is speaking of winning souls for Jesus here.

I tried for many years to be a seed planter/harvester for Jesus. I took my children along with me on door-knocking, soul-winning campaigns, and I still believe in those. I also believe it is excellent training for children. On rare occasions, I would actually have someone come to Jesus. I am a slow learner, but after years of trying with little to no success, it occurred to me that, just maybe, seed planting/harvesting was not one of my kingdom gifts.

I know, I know, seed planting and harvesting get most of the attention, and we are all to be harvesters, at least that is what I have heard a lot of through the yearIriss in the religious tribes I have been a part of. But what if that is not my gift? Paul says that one planted, one watered, and God gave the increase.

Like the lack of success that I had in gardening when I did not bother to prepare the soil, so it is with human hearts. If all of us are focusing on planting seed and harvesting, who is preparing the soil? And remember, soil preparation is time-consuming, hard work, and looks nothing like the job of seed planting or harvesting.

I would encourage you to explore your gifts when it comes to evangelism. Don’t let fear stop you! Try seed planting. Maybe you were given that gift. But also try harvesting, watering, and soil preparation. You may have been given a gift that looks nothing like harvesting that is vital for kingdom growth. And remember that it is God who gives the increase.



God’s Story ~ Just Let God


Just Let God


There was a season in my life when everything seemed hopeless and grey.

My exteriors would have belied the hurricane of emotional turmoil swirling in my heart and mind.

I had a loving husband, three young children, a solid roof over my head, a ministry calling and worthwhile work in which I was engaged, and many people around the world who loved and cared for me.

And yet, the demands of life seemed overwhelming, pulling me down into a vortex of hopelessness.

I felt the first hints of this impending storm around the time when our children were 5, 3 and just under a year old. During this season our ministry colleagues retired, and we took on the full responsibility for carrying a local outreach to international college and university students.My husband and I had always been partners in this service, but he also held a full-time job as a high school teacher. In the practical day-to-day, the bulk of the demands of both kids and ministry fell squarely upon my shoulders.

My husband and I had always been partners in this service, but he also held a full-time job as a high school teacher. In the practical day-to-day, the bulk of the demands of both kids and ministry fell squarely upon my shoulders.

It all felt like too much. The little ones vied for my time and attention. I wanted so badly to do a good job being their mommy.

But email requests kept pouring in from students, some local, some soon-to-arrive. Relationships with volunteers, donors, and local churches required constant attention, too. I felt overwhelmed by expectations to carry on the ministry at the level we had experienced so far.

Too many people needed me. I had lost my sense of self.


Sucked Downward


As this sense of desperation grew, I began to feel dead to life. Dark and dangerous thoughts often popped up in my mind. “Just turn off that cliff…No one else understands…No one cares if you disappear; they will not even notice.”

I remember one particular day I was standing in front of my washing machine, transferring what seemed to be endless loads of clothes into the dryer. Inside I knew I should be thanking God for the gift of those little lives.

But what screamed in my head? Sinister messages: “Life is so useless. Everything is the same. Nothing changes.”And yet, even then, as a follower of Jesus. I knew, intellectually, the Hope of the World should dwell in me. Why was I so dark?

And yet, even then, as a follower of Jesus. I knew, intellectually, the Hope of the World should dwell in me. Why was I so dark?

In my mind, I understood that an intense, spiritual battle for my heart was being waged. But in the midst of it all, I felt so helpless to change.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this too. Your exteriors tell the world, “I am happy. Life is good.” But inside there is a raging storm.


How could I escape this downward spiral?


All I can say is God, in His mercy, rescued me from this morass. I cannot claim I followed a 12-step program or even offer some quick-and-easy solution here.

But still, I did learn a few major life lessons as I traveled through this time and moved into a new and lasting season of wholeness, purpose and vision.


1) The first step was recognizing the battle.


And admitting I needed God’s help to overcome.

Although, I had become dull to the spiritual work of our loving God during this time, my husband and I soldiered on in daily prayer. We enlisted prayer from a few others with whom we were close as well. I knew we were fighting a spiritual battle.

As the school year wound down, my school teacher husband was around more, and this seemed to lighten the load and my spirits. I felt the darkness lifting. Some.

I had been training for a triathlon in early September. It would be my third. I felt this might help break through the cycle of darkness.

But the morning before the triathlon, I woke up with the most intense neck pain I’ve ever experienced. Immobile. Healing from that took almost four months of working with a chiropractor and physical therapist.

A friend who noticed I was hurting (and not just physically) suggested I consider attending a “women’s silent retreat” his wife, much older than I, attended regularly. She found it to be a profound experience. Maybe so would I.


2) The next step was allowing myself time to be still and listen.


To listen to the right voice. To listen for what God – and He alone – was saying to me.

The retreat came at just the right time, in the heart of fall, as the days shortened and the temperatures began to dip. Although my recovery from the neck injury was not complete, I was feeling much better and decided to go.

Being still and listening was not something I had been good at. I’m usually an energetic Type A. My season of despondency only seemed to heighten a frantic worry over the checklists of my life.

The design of this retreat was brilliant. An overall framework with brief (15-20 minute) sessions, followed by one–two hours of open, “free” time, to hear how God is speaking to you. Although the leader had prepared an extensive set of materials, she advised us to use them only if God directed. She wanted us to be open to His leading.

And then, on a drizzly early November day, God spoke to my heart.

I was gazing out the window at a deciduous tree with just a few leaves hanging on.

“You are that tree. My life is still in you, but you have lost your joy.”

Whoa! It was clear and simple as day. Over ten years later, I can still remember the exact words. And they were so true.

I pondered them for a while. God was, of course, right. But what was I to do with that?

I prayed. I journaled. I searched Scripture. I called out to God from the depths of my being. I cried. Oh boy, did I cry!

The next day, He answered my question. Again, in an unmistakable way.

I was walking out in the woods on a clear “after-the-rains” morning. The crisp air filled my lungs while the sunshine filled my heart.

God directed my eyes to a particular redwood tree. Rising in front of me, this redwood tree commanded reverence.

Then, the Voice. “I am making you into that tree. Let me.”

That was it! Although I’ve experienced many “God moments” before and since, His message to me has never been clearer. I had my answer.


3) The final step is trusting God’s promises and clinging to them.


Since that time, I have been letting God turn me into that evergreen redwood tree.

I cannot say the path has always been easy. Nor can I deny moments when self-doubt has entered my mind.

But really, self-doubt should be there. It is God we must trust after all.

I claim the promise He made to me to make me into the redwood if I would just let Him. This is backed by so many promises in Scripture: He is with me “even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Ps 23:4), He has a plan and purpose for my life (Jer. 29:11), He is working “all things together for [my] good” (Rom. 8:28), “He who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to complete it” (Phil. 1:6),  “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works…” (Eph. 2:10), and so many others.

I’m not yet the complete evergreen redwood tree He intends. But since that time I’ve learned to stay my mind on my Master, and He has granted me perfect peace (Is. 26:3) even in the toughest times.

I hope this will encourage you as well. He wants to make you, too, an evergreen redwood tree, healthy for others, to live out your calling and be effective as a builder of the Kingdom of God.

Just let Him!



Caroline DePalatisCaroline DePalatis is Founder and Interculturalist at Culture Weave, a new venture offering tools, training & community to help those with a heart for the world better connect across cultures. A graduate of Stanford University and the Middlebury Institute of International Studies at Monterey (CA), Caroline has walked with Jesus since college, is a wife of 30 years and a mom to three awesome high school & college-aged emerging adults. She loves sharing from her life experience and over 20 years of intercultural service and work with International Students, Inc. to inspire and equip others. She also finds herself on a perpetual quest to discover the finest dark chocolate opportunities on the planet. Website URL:


First Image Credit: Splitshire on Pexels, Creative Commons, no attribution required.


Learning How to be Fully Present


Image Source: by Carlie Jean

Several weeks ago I took a day to myself. No internet, phone or connection to the outside world for 8 hours, and it was great. During this time, I thought about where I want my life to go in the future. I worked through creating a life plan to allow me to refocus my energies towards what I want to be doing, rather than what I feel that I have to be doing.

One of the things I thought about was a FaceBook post which was speaking of a high-level horse trainer. The writer expressed when she was in the arena with this trainer he was completely focused on her and her horse. When he answered a question from the audience, he was focused on that person. She talked about the feeling of being in the presence of someone who is completely present in each step of their life. She expressed the sense of knowing he was focused on her and only her during that time.

Completely present. What does this even mean for my life? I am not able to write this blog post without thinking about what I need to do in a few hours, how I need to work with my client in 30 minutes, what I need to do next with the business, how the house needs to be cleaned. The list goes on of what I need to be doing rather than what I am doing. Completely present.

Mindfulness is a current buzz word. Mindful living, mindful eating, mindful mindfulness. But, what does it mean to be mindful? In my life, this means slowing down and tasting the food I eat. It means being present in each conversation I have and not allowing my mind to wonder. It means organizing my days to allow for downtime. It means taking control of my life.

This is all easier said than done. I often catch myself looking at my to-do list and going over the day’s work in my mind. I often find I am eating for the sake of “it’s time” rather than enjoying my food. So my first step to being mindful is to stop my mind when I am in conversation with someone, put my phone and planner down, look at them and be present. I know it will take a while before I am completely there, but one step at a time will make a journey.

How to be FREE from the Stay-at-home vs. Working Mom Guilt

working-mom Image Credit:

What if we could be free from the guilt we feel about working or being a stay-at-home mom?

Recently, I changed from being a stay-at-home to a working mom. The funny thing is while I was a stay-at-home mom, I felt so guilty for “just” being a mom. For not making any “real” contributions to the family. Now I knew that wasn’t true, but it was the way I often felt when I saw other moms who appeared to be doing it all, or whenever someone would ask me, “What do you do?”

Now that I’m a teacher, I feel equally guilty for not seeming to place my kids first. For not giving every minute of every day to my family. For sharing the responsibility to “be there” for our kids with my husband.

This internal struggle I’ve been fighting has gotten me thinking about what it means to be a Christian and put God’s priorities first. Because that’s who standard I should really be trying to live up to, right?

The more I look about me, though, the more I realize God often doesn’t have one “right way” to do something. He is the God of creativity and variety! Yes, Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, and no one come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6, NLT), but once we’re in Christ, there is so much more variety and ways to live out the Christian life than we ever thought possible!

Think about this… All through the Bible, we learn about how Jesus is the light. At first glance, there is one sun and one light coming from it. However, as scientists have learned, there is actually a whole spectrum of light. As that spectrum hits the different flowers, plants, and trees God created, they all reflect that light back in different ways. The maple trees in Vermont reflect back brilliant reds and oranges in the fall. The Pine trees in Colorado reflect back their deep greens in the winter.

They both are reflecting God’s light, but in different and unique ways according to how he made them.


Tree collage


What if we applied the same thoughts to ourselves? I have several friends who are stay-at-home moms and homeschool their children. They do a wonderful job and brilliantly reflect God’s light through their families. I just love to be around them and learn from them.

But just because they do a great job in their God-given role, doesn’t negate the life God has called me to right now. My family can also reflect God’s light through me working and my kids attending public school.

Quite honestly, this thought process is a huge struggle for me. I grew up in churches and a culture that taught one “right” way. I was convinced if I didn’t stay at home and homeschool my kids then they wouldn’t grow up to be strong Christians. However, as I look around me at other families, especially some of my mentors who have raise Godly children, I see my kids can be strong Christians either way.

Jesus says, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, NLT). But how can we claim that freedom? It is so easy to feel chained by the expectations of others. So easy to feel chained by our belief that there is only one right way to live for God.

It all starts with God. We can pray and ask for guidance in this area. If you’re like me and need explicit signs from God that this is what he wants of you right now, ask for those signs. He loves helping his children understand his will!

Then once you set the course, find verses and mementos to help you claim the freedom that is yours. Verse like,

“There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.” 1 Cor. 12:4-6, NLT

Go ahead and read the rest of 1 Cor. 12. Yes, it is talking about spiritual gifts specifically, but the same thoughts can be applied to working or being a stay-at-home mom.

I also look to nature itself for reminders to claim the freedom that is mine in Christ. If you need to, find pictures like those of maple and pine trees above to post somewhere and remind you that reflecting God’s light differently than your friends is okay and natural.

Today, allow God’s truths to sink deep into your soul. Our God is a God of vast creativity and variety. The way we both reflect his light may be different, but they are both equally pleasing in his sight. {Click to tweet}